‘Living In Me – the complete guide to Being Human’ excerpt

    I have been waiting to share this my entire life, or rather it seems that my life has been lived in order to share this.

Born the hybrid of enemies/cultures/language/political, the daughter of Hungarian Resistance fighter athlete choirboy who spoke from a number of languages, had lost both his parents before he was 10 yrs, was a prisoner of war, and who seemed to be ‘undercover’ his entire time with us, and Victorian England raised British military ex-servicewoman (acting Sergent Major)  turned teacher-librarian, I was born to write a study into the Human Being.

My parents existed together, and lived by the book, or so it would ‘seem to be’.  But which book?  They were on the shelves in the house these books.  I have many more of them in my collection now.

Born into abject cruelly, my mother made the novels of Dickens pale into insignificance, though they were a strength and companionship to me.  Reading was one of the few things I was allowed to do as a child.

I was born into a  curiosity of  “What Is The Point?   How Could This Be?   What Is This God Idea Then?   There Mustn’t Be One!   But I’ve Just Been Born!   Why Am I Alive? and  What Is The Meaning To It All?”

Not permitted to speak or make a sound, and ordered to remain still in uncomfortable sitting positions for extended periods, gave me opportunity to listen and observe everything, and I became very good at it.  Not much escaped my notice as I studied closely the members of my own family with the view to interpret.     ” : )

Living In Me – the complete guide to Being Human

An excerpt from the intro of Living In Me – The Complete Guide to Being Human…and some notes that just came out with them…!

“No degree into the human being and all that it can possibly be exists, so I have studied far and wide to give myself the best possible education on this topic.  This has involved combining different undergraduate learnings, from degrees and diploma courses; many diverse work areas;  from ‘throwing myself’ in at the deep end’ in varied and obscure life experiences; travel discoveries; self-healing and personal growth workshops.

We were at one time threatened with death upon even questioning of this,  as it was interpreted historically, as disobedience by questioning the authority of  the ‘Crown’ in rule.  And more than this, questioning the authority of the Crown’s chosen religious practice for the people ruled over.  To question for greater knowledge was determined to be ‘disobedience’ or ‘argument’.  Yet, it is our very spirit that questions, for guidance, and for seeking familiarity for growth and reassurance.

To Be all I could Be was my plan.  A man at a music festival where I was dancing in the crowd said to me, after observing me for quite a while, “you seem to have the upper hand.”  I am used to staring all the while where ever I go, but I don’t enjoy it.  It reminds me of  my mother’s all too critical daily staring, with a screwed up face and mean eyes, as this is the familiarity and association that my own memory files offer me.  ”

We can heal from all of it, but, to remember is a healthy state for us, and should never be feared, but rather used for the potential healing that all these memories offer us.  Areas that are ’emotion charged’ places to go, can bring about the greatest movement of stuck energy from us, and are the best enablers for this, when managed correctly and with such an intent.  I take the opportunity to release stuck energies, that hold me back from living my lightest freest self whenever I get a spare moment to do so.

I don’t mind being viewed when on as stage for performance, as eyes in that situation are eyes of enjoyment and love.   Eyes emit an energy that  can be felt, and eyes in such a situation are encouraging and strengthening to the activity being undertaken. Even to say, these eyes become  a part of the experience, in the receiving of the performance ‘gift’.

We are Primate in the physical and the most threatening thing you can do to some others such as Gorillas, Chimpanzees and Orang Utans, is to stare at them.   Looking at one another, of course, is a part of the courting behaviour for us, to get the attention of who attracts us, but if we do not impress enough to get it, then we are meant to stop our gaze, and move on.

“I am used to questions all day, if I do not have a number of rehearsed responses now, to give myself space from it.  Space from it that I can allow myself mostly due to my commitment to write this book.  Space from it as we are not actually meant to be questioning one another at all really.

The Meaning of Life, The Universe and Everything.  Monty Python.  The answer is 42.;)   Or is that the Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy?  It never struck me a being anything other than a completely achievable quest or question and I decided to learn the answer, and all about it.  I thought it very silly that it was not freely available, like the books that are all about dogs that you need to read before you have one.

It was sensible to me to know the point and purpose of our existence and what we actually were, from what was known so far to our understanding.  I also figured that would give indication of what wasn’t yet known or understood, and also what was completely being avoided in understanding, ie, from being in”the too hard basket”.

Yet I am in that basket.  I was put there by my own mother.  I have lived my entire life from it, and I feel completely at ease sharing of its contents. And here it is.”

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