My Reply To My Brother’s Comments.

received_991566354589861*This is a reply to comments to my blog ‘What’s Christmas All About Really’ & my facebook page.  They were not worthy of a response, but the writer is my brother. So, as outrageous, disturbing & offensive as they are, this is how I remember him, and am grateful he exemplifies some of the hell for me as a child.  But this is many years later, our mother is passed and I am concerned for him.  I am grateful he chose to write to me here, as this medium gives us a platform where I can communicate in more safety, and to be enroute to begin healing his many false beliefs.  The comments I refer to, most I moved to the end of this writing, as they were too awful for anyone to discover unexpectedly under a blog about the Vibe of Joy!  I am also grateful he had the opportunity to voice himself, so I could ascertain from the comments what beliefs he was operating under, and as horrific and memory triggering as it was for me to read, I am thankful to have become so unfamiliar to such nastiness that was once my everyday as a child. I did attempt to create a more supportive situation among UK relations, without success, with even a counsellor present before entering the points I raise here.  But, this is how reality is playing out. 😉  I forgive him & sincerely wish him well, and if I can, there is no reason any of it, should be anything other than a catalyst to real positivity, once realised.

 

Andrew, this is not finished, but I decided today that I think it will help us both, to release what is ready.  To help give you some peace of mind, and to help me with your continuing harassment.  I will complete it by then adding to it, to address as many of your obvious concerns you have raised.  I will place a number here any time I make an addition.   

~ Unfortunately I am not able to continue with this original plan, needing a break from the stress of this intense work for now.  Good for you to realise, but needs to be another way, another time.

 So many years of horrendous abuse, and then your recent attacks, attempting a reconnection with you has been worse for me than I ever could have imagined,  and the consequences have taken a toll on my health. This is what I meant when I said it is not appropriate to contact me. You are blocked on all my addresses/social media, please abide by this.  If you do have valid reason to ever get information to me, please pass it through our ex Gloucestor -now in Spain- Uncle, or our gingerhaired older cousin – both of whom are minimal triggers of my PTSD.  Under no circumstances contact me again yourself. I would prefer to not put a restraint order on you, and it is not obviously essential considering you do not have Mary’s condition. I sincerely hope there is no need. Let me heal.  Thank you for respecting my wishes!

 

Andrew, I had wanted to reconnect with you in the safety of U.K family for the first time after so many years, and I tried to create something supportive with family in UK without success, with even a psychologist/ social worker present. So, I visited you, and now we are here.  It is not ideal, but it is what it is – how reality has played out – so let’s make the best of it now.  I feel there is no alternative than replying to you here.

Andrew, your comments since I advised you that it was not appropriate that I be of support to you and to connect with UK family –  these comments –  is not O.K with me.  I made excuses for you as a child, and I made excuses for you as an adolescent.  I forgive you, for all you did when a minor / a child.  You are a grown man now, and only you are responsible for your thoughts / actions / behaviours, regardless of from where they stemmed.  You have made criminal offences in your comments thus far : death threats & defamation, and the latter to five people!   Nowadays therapy, self help & wellness practices are many, and if I can forgive you, there is no need for any of your problematic past actions to be a part of your future, unless you yourself continue to make them so.

It has been horrific to revisit the negativity & abuse that was once my everyday.  Horrendous to re-visit & re-experience, it has been debilitating and sickening for me during the preparation of this healing response for you.  Your abuse was always so thorough, so widely encompassing.   Andrew I am not interested at all in these horrible, troubling thoughts you have – mostly nonsense – passed on by Mary, other’s your own.  But, I can see where I can set you straight, with photos and clear memories, that hopefully can be a catalyst to your healing.  I will do my best to explain to you here, what I know.

I do so aware that you always had comprehension challenges, but you can reread in your own time.  I never appreciated how much this was a struggle for you until you asked to copy my Biology homework – that was only comprehension questions to a Biology textbook reading.  I was also sent some of your old school work,  perhaps by mistake with my own, when I asked for these from Mary.  I admit I was shocked.  We never spent time together when I did not need to actively avoid you, or keep a conscious distance, so I was not aware of your cognitive/general functioning in other areas.   I do recall how you may have got D’s where I may get A’s for the same class in high school, and school-report time for you I witnessed being something you & Mary talked through with her giving you encouraging words.   I once asked Mary what was the story behind this school performance of yours’, and she answered with she had left the gas on in Allowa Flats when you were a baby, but knowing Mary as I do, who knows if that were true.  It could just have been an excuse to not get you more adequate support.  It was suggested to me that you are in the ‘realm of autism’ and  certainly, it seems very likely and would explain your challenges & behaviours.

Andrew I chose not to put orders of restraint on you, though my lawyer suggested it, to leave open the possibility of you apologising at a future time and where ever that may have led us.  This never occurring,  I visited you to check how you were, and found there was no opening for any re-connection.  I found you so caught up in false beliefs that you didn’t seem able to stop yourself from telling me, and it was too disturbing for me, given I had no good memories of you.  I did not want to hear a horrific lie about cruelty to my dog. Or any lies about my own life history, or anything negative at all with regards to the Hodgkin family.  And this, on my first visit to you in 30 years. Your harassment in correspondence began soon after, by email/fb, then here.

Andrew, I just knew Mary.  I think I was the only one who did.   Simply put, Mary was unfit to be anyone’s mother.   And all of this – that we are living to this day – is a consequence of how unfit.   I never bonded with her,  and all these years have just been keeping away from her – and her away from me – and that, only after it became abundantly clear that there was no possible rehabilitation for her, made obvious by the final social worker clinic saying to me “Why do you bother?!”

So I stopped.  I bought you both those kittens to make what I saw as a miserable situation more tolerable, and I stayed away.  And yet…   She has needed to make & maintain me as public enemy no. 1, to keep anyone from getting close to seeing what was really going on, behind every scene. She could have had me in her life, but she was committed to continue to live out her creative lying strategies instead. There was no ability to heal in her, as is common with her Narcissistic Personality Disorder, where lies are used as a controlling mechanism given name ‘gas lighting.’

‘Gas lighting’ is a name given to telling lies to control the beliefs & behaviours of others, so much so that they can lose all relation to what is real and what isn’t. Mary also got enormous pleasure from hurting people, by the means of stories blaming others, so the responsibility was removed from herself.  She had no empathy, and no capacity to love.  This enabled her lies to be at the extreme end, always over the top hurtful – as she had no idea how hurtful they were.

When her lies found me by way of a phone call from a lady she’d upset enough to internationally telephone her sister, the lie then travelled back across the world to me, speaking of Mary urgently wanting to talk to me before she never can.  I phoned her in the carehome – remember? I was hopeful she really did have something to say to me but “no.” The only thing said repeatedly was “Oh..oh….I can’t talk, Andrew is coming up the hall and I don’t want him to hear me.”

Now Mary has gone is a time of transition for you.  At the moment I think you are feeling lonely and lost. I think you are regressing to your childhood familiarity, of persecuting me, having everything blamed on me, and focusing on my death.  But this is a time of transition that is an opportunity to live your best life from now on.  I feel this crossroad is available to you at long last.

Here is an excerpt from Dad’s letter. He is replying to the letter I sent him at the same time I wrote to Mary explaining in clear detail why I was putting orders of restraint on her.

“…Thinking back you are basically right about your childhood, your mum was ruling the family, she was saying she knows how to bring up an English family etc, what could I do? Left her, went back to Australia and in the end back to Hungaria. I knew she is heartless couldn’t give love. ”

He used to call her “Nasty-woman-not-able-to-give-any-love.” Did you never hear him?

20200328_164509

You were told something awful happened to beloved dog Josie by Mary, and she managed to involve several people in the same lie.   She would have done so, as she felt her control on you threatened by these new influences in your life – undoubtedly contradictory to her – so she needed to gather you all to herself again.  So you would continue to live in the reality she created for you.  Animal cruelty lies and people killing each other lies featuring very strongly.  You are existing in a delusion Mary created to control you, to this day.

Here is a photo of Josie at 13 & half in Brisbane, for her last Christmas, passing away before making her 14th birthday. A Grevillea Moonlight shrub was planted on her grave in the garden.

20200328_164723

Here is a photo of Josie taken by someone you defame in one of your comments, while in the care of another you defame.  Here she is looking strong, confident & well, being cared for by the loving friend & neighbour, who loved her and had known her for years.  I got the absolute best person to look after Josie, and I am grateful to her to this day that she did. I had so many injuries from that 1992 motor vehicle accident, I was not able to walk her or give her adequate care even if she had accompanied me to Brisbane at the same time.

20200405_163739

…to be continued.

 

 

 

 

 

Recommendations

Shave. Or cut the beard closer to the face. At least look as though you embrace life. 😉

Get a chair, so there is a space for a visitor.  ‘Live as IF’ you want to be a part of Life. 😊 Research The Law of Attraction.

You need to focus on positive thoughts IN your own life, rather than negative ones in mine. Make a conscious decision to do this.  You are simply brewing an insane woman’s control tactics over you. Entertain only positive thoughts and words. Begin a Gratitude Journal where at the end of each day you have a special place to write down 5 things you are grateful for. Oprah Winfrey has a lovely segment on this on one of her youtubes.

Have basic house facilities, such as a functioning toilet, so you can have guests feel comfortable. At least live as though a guest may visit.

Take up new hobbies! What interests you? So you have fun, new things to talk of with new people. 😊 You were good at swimming, and other physical sports & games.

Research and join ‘Men’s Groups’. There are a number of them run up the Sunshine Coast area & Northern N.S.W. A great opportunity to develop in the supportive community of Men. You were kept suppressed in development by a self-serving mother and never encouraged to develop and find confidence in your self as a man.

Sell the house. Create a new home. If you do stay get a cat or two from the RSPCA.

Stay with U.K family. Visit them a.s.a.p. They have been caught up in a lot of the same beliefs as you, and can provide a healthier family dynamic for you to witness and be a part of for a while.  Alternate, staying with both Uncle’s families and that of older male cousins.  They may not be able to guide you emotionally & psychologically, but the environment they would provide, will be healing for you to be a part of, pleasing & courteous & most important free from controlling pathogens.

Create a vision board, collect inspiring pictures – e.g from magazines of things you would like to manifest in your life.

Ask yourself in meditation “What do I want for my life” rather than living as a cast-off, something Mary left behind.  You need to focus on your own thoughts, if Mary told you something, I would abandon it as it may – or may not – be true.  You need to get a grip on reality. And you can now, as Mary is not there to hold back your progress. This is positive.

I want you to take a good hard look at your vocabulary. Your words.  4 words you wrote me, after I provided you with many photos and information of your family in Hungary. 4 words in positivity.  Now look at all the words you have written in negativity below.  We create our reality with our spoken word. Focus now on positive words only to bring it into your life.  -)

 

    • Andrew Pinter
      Andrew Pinter You are a rotten piece of festering dead meat.

“What’s Christmas All About really?”

  1. Andrew

    Amelia Pinter has the genetic genes of her father’s older brother. Who drowned ducklings and hung his wife.

  2. Andrew

    5 years of barking ranting Twitter madness. Narcissist. Biased. Hater. Delusional syndrome. Bark bark rant rant rant. Woof woof like a dog.

  3. Andrew

    Hang with Dad’s older brother’s family. You have the same genes. He hung his wife.

    You have genetic narcissism.

  4. Andrew

    1) Narcissist
    2) You only speak English
    3) You dance badly
    4) Mum was perfect
    5) You are a hateful, conceited deluded ranting barking monster.
    6) You only associate with people you have fooled into believing your story.

  5. Andrew

    Hi fanny fungus

  6. Andrew

    Frequency of fanny fungus ha ha

  7. Andrew

    Gosh Amelia by your description your fanny fungus frequency is real bad. Maybe half a cauliflower on an Onion. Geez you must stink.

  8. Andrew

    5 years of utter Twitter madness. Absolute hate, bias, barking, ranting, delusional narcissistic genetic human loving failure. You need to use at the stake. Burnt after hanging. Buried head down towards help. Josie will make sure you deserve it.

  9. Andrew

    5 years of utter Twitter madness. Absolute hate, bias, barking, ranting, delusional narcissistic genetic human loving failure. You need to use at the stake. Burnt after hanging. Buried head down towards help. Josie will make sure you deserve it.

  10. Andrew

    Narcissist. Speaks only English.

  11. Andrew

    Don’t contact me about the flat. The Hungarians will learn about you.

  12. Andrew

    The face of madness. Look into those eyes.

  13. Andrew

    ranting barking dog

  14. Andrew

    Bigot bully ranting barking dog. NARCISSIST and the rest. Cruel to Josie left out in the cold. Monster.

  15. Andrew

    5 months in the psychiatric ward in 2005 did not help you. You had no insight.

  16. Andrew

    5 months in the psychiatric hospital in 2005 did not help you. You have no insight and want to be a narcissist.

  17. Andrew

    The “information that comes to you from inside” is called madness.

  18. Andrew

    Narcissist aided by the Hogkin’s. Avoided care by family and avoided psychiatrist from age 17.

  19. Andrew

    Amelia Pinter forever known as the coward, traitor and world class narcissist. Only friend of the Hogkin’s for narcissistic reward.

  20. Andrew

    Narcissist and ranter by trade.

  21. Andrew

    Narcissist and ranter by trade.

  22. Andrew

    Narcissist and ranter by trade.

  23. Andrew

    Dave Hogkin of Evatt, ACT Australia. Mr and Mrs Hogkin of ACT. Sue Davenport of Evatt, ACT and Brigid Amelia Pinter 1/12/67. Cruelty to Josie the family dog left out in Canberra winters while Amelia left for Brisbane. These Canberrans are listed for hell.

  24. Andrew

    For a sickening piece of narcissism see any of Brigid Amelia Pinter’s Twitter rantings.

    Andrew

    Amelia Pinter pretending to be nice on fb. Gosh what a strain.

  25. Andrew

    Face of a narcissist who killed a driver to spend his family’s money on life long holiday. Methadone for 11 years. Mum worked to 71 to send money. Mortgaged the house to support. Absolute world class narcissist. Will swap all info about her for free.

    • Andrew I am very concerned for you, so I have organised some photos with a response that I am hopeful can assist you. You are my brother, and even though we have been many years apart, and as disturbing, outrageous & offensive as your comments are, I can relate to why you are like this. I am putting in this effort to help you with what I know.

      • Andrew Pinter Oh Amelia Pinter the fucking piece of shit.
        Andrew Pinter
        Andrew Pinter You are a rotten piece of festering dead meat.
        Andrew Pinter
        Andrew Pinter Hateful narcissistic monster.

      Andrew Pinter Amelia claims to speak over 20 languages. I am her brother and she only speaks English.

      • Andrew Pinter You have been busy liking yourself for 10 years.
      • Andrew Pinter
        Andrew Pinter Look into those eyes. Absolutely dead.

        13 hours ago13h

      • Andrew Pinter
        Andrew Pinter Likely someone will hang you.
      • Andrew Pinter
        Andrew Pinter Genetic narcissist.
      • Andrew Pinter
        Andrew Pinter Pure witch.
      • Andrew Pinter
        Andrew Pinter Police – just look at Twitter.
        Author
        Amelia Pinter Andrew I have prepared something for you in reply to your many disturbing comments. I have needed time as it is a most unpleasant task, has required time to ascertain your beliefs & from where/when/whom they have stemmed, & to access the photos to help you. Not because your comments themselves are worthy of any response, but this is how I remember you, and simply because I can help explain somethings. This is a time when you are at a ‘life cross-road’, and I know I can help with what I will share. Then, UK family are the best ones to remain in contact with. Visit your fave UK relations when restrictions are over!. There is nothing – or no one – to stop your progress, now. Sincerely blessings to you and a brighter path ahead.

    What’s Christmas all about really?

    It’s all about the vibe. 😉

    As the world embraces – or not – ‘christmas’,  whatever you believe to any story,  is actually irrelevant as the point is, to raise our vibration to attain that of joy, love & gratitude frequencies.

    The ritual of gift giving, sharing & providing is a fast & sure way of getting folk to get their energy into the higher vibration of these. It can be done consciously by way of an internal emotional gear shift, such as I do to fast track into a meditative state to enable instant connection with source.

    It can be done wrong too. I can recall all too clearly being dictated to exactly, and how, and with what perpendicular drape, to every strand of tinsel.  There was no joy there, only a reduction to my vibration and I couldn’t wait for the ordeal to be over so I could get away.  But it did look a stunning tree for the photographs to relatives overseas.  Missing the point… 😉

    All atoms are moving right?;)

    Our energy, containing and surrounding our body, moves according to that which we are feeling. Higher or lower ie at a faster or slower rate.

    The vibe of gratitude is one of our highest, with hate & blame for example, among our lowest on the scale.

    Forget historic stories and warring agendas of our ruling parties for now, 😉 Christ Emanuel aka Jesus was only ever about feeling love & joy anyway.

    Society’s creativity around something we just cannot let go of, by way of commercial marketing, is because we know ‘something’ to be of value, and we contain it inside our self. It stems nowhere else that inside us.

    What we do or how we occupy ourselves for this Christmas time, depends upon where we are on the globe, what we do for work & play, what beliefs we contain around this day, and all the days of our life leading up to this one. Otherwise we are exactly the same, as our needs, wants and vibrating ability of our energy! 😀

    There is no judgement, there is no comparison, as there is no need. 😉 It still is only ever about feeling love, joy, and being in a state of gratitude,  however 😉 doing whatever, 😉 where ever. 😉

    So please go ahead, share that love, joy & gratitude today, but stay in the energy of it for the every day ahead too. 🙂

    Blessings to all of us. ❤

    Update Education! Human first, career/job second…

    With the development of the education system to fulfill societal needs and our ‘career paths’, we forgot we are meant to be developing continually as humans. We forgot our real ‘path’.  Of course we can keep on top of both, us modern-day humans.

    Our learning NEVER stops. We have our own lessons one after another., that are perfect for each of us, exactly as we need for that stage of our development.

    Our lives may not be so challenged as another’s. Some of us may have relatively uneventful lives while others seem to go through one large event after another. But it is those ones of us who had no escape from realizing this early in our childhood who can see it all so clearly.

    Human life path development must come first, then career.
    Our ‘work’ can accommodate us. We created these jobs when we were ignorant of our real needs, with some tweaking, additional flexibility, regular job swapping or exchanging of tasks, we can allow for our innate creativity need for change, and personal development.

    To Be human is to create, so there is nothing we can not solve or create our way out of, that we created in the beginning.  Moving forward is something we humans innate know how to do, we only need to realize ourselves.  🙂

    Bliss? What is that really?

    Whether we know it or not, it is bliss that we seek…in all things. But what is bliss?

    There is no harm in any personal interpretations you give to this word as the highest form of ‘niceness’ yet experienced, as long as you give it an evolving allowance. 😉 because it will.

    Bliss in its highest form is a feeling of love, warmth, ultimate joy and complete peace ALL AT ONCE. 🙂

    It is as a thick, heavy deep love ‘soup’ we feel we float in, a warmth that is all permeating, as a physical feeling especially to our heart, and a peace that is so powerful it transgresses into exhilaration. I could not believe it at first…I still marvel at it. and I think we are meant to. 😉 I mean how can it truly be ‘bliss’ otherwise, if we humans can get bored with it? 😉 It is a dumbfounding, overwhelming, optimal feeling, every time. 🙂

    In that space where we are healed from all our ‘shadows’ or past issues or problems or memories, that find us in our space between our thoughts, we will feel bliss.

    It is our pinnacle of meditative space, within which we can ask for guidance, assess our lives, or just ‘float’ in it this glorious feeling.

    It is the space we can access when we ascend, journeying through all the portals, and there we see as well as feel and float in its warmth.

    Bliss is attainable by all of us, and we know it subconsciously and why we go to so many different lengths/ pursuits & mediums to try to feel it through alcohol or other drugs.

    The cheapest and most assured way to have it in your kit – available for you at anytime – is to find and make friends with your thought-less space.  Don’t be afraid of it.  It is just you. 😉   It is in this space between our thoughts where we present ourselves with our next inner stuff to be dealt with/healed.  Where else do we have for this inner work-shopping, except the space between our thoughts?

    Managing our self by clearing out what is here regularly, provides the ‘parking space’ for bliss.  When we have attained bliss, we can then do our internal ‘housekeeping’ from this place.

    The purpose of bliss is to recharge us, rest and reboot us, 😉  It is our natural docking station. 😉  the place we want to Be. 🙂

    Brexit, A Backward Step Motivated by Unhealed Ignorance & Fear.

    An elected government representative has a duty to reflect the desires of his/her ‘constituents’/ area of people, but what happens when such people have been misguided, un or ill informed, and hold historically imbedded irrational fears, ignorance, and/or emotional and mental illnesses?

    Brexit that is what. 😉 The UK’s foolish result to leave the European Union.

    Britain requires closeness to other languages and cultures for her own healing. Other countries do not suffer the extent of Britain’s pervasive negativity, an emotional illness that causes debilitating mental and physical decline,which is reflected in her ever-growing sociological problems.

    And herein lies the problem. People inaccurately look to their elected representative to guide them, but guiding them they are not. They are seeking their own personal continuance as an elected official. Job focus. They cannot actually guide them under this design. The system needs ‘tweaking’ to allow for thorough explanations to be given, as currently it is not happening.

    I give the example of my dear cousin Penny Mordaunt who is currently the British MP for The Armed Services. I love Penny dearly, she is genuinely a caring individual, and who was the only one in my family as I grew up who expressed insight and concern for me in the care of my ‘mother’. I know Penny is doing her utmost and believes what she is doing to be the best for her constituents.

    But is it? Unfortunately I believe her job restricts her.

    Penny represents Portsmouth with its high Navy population and has always been interested in, and enormously committed to, improving quality of life for aging Britains. A defence force such as the Navy rely upon precautionary measures and fear and the over 60 years age group most in favor of Britain leaving the EU to ignorantly “go back to how things were”, so Portsmouth, led by Penny as a ‘leave’ campaigner were a good contribution to the Brexit result.

    But under the current system, how can Penny have opportunity to herself to know enough of the EU and implications of leaving it, in order to be able to educate her constituents IF IT IS already against what they want, without fearing her own income security? When can any of our politicians get enough life experience for the larger perspective required also, as they lobby and publicly ‘perform’ their highly competitive route into office?

    According to analysis since votes were counted, the decision was driven by fears and inadequate awareness of what the EU was or did. The second biggest google question asked in UK yesterday was “What is the EU” according to the PBS Newshour tv show just earlier SBS Aus time.

    Historically we received guidance from Wiseones / Shamans/ Kahunas or similar within our own language, for people who had earned our respect, from committed demonstration of living ‘the way’, who’s interest lay in an outcome the same as our own. Where health, well-being and happiness was seen as the biggest wealth. These times are no longer with us, and it has been a while. 😉 but they can be.

    Our current systems do not allow for it though…nor can they create it. Not without us recreating them.

    Where also is the acknowledged development of us as we evolve? 😉  We are not designed to be born to become an employee, requiring someone to represent us so we never develop an awareness of anything outside of our source of income.  Yet this was a key strategic move by historic Britain, to maintain a public ignorance for easy rule and economic growth.

    I say we can fix both.  The two do not cancel out the other, and can happily coincide……certainly more happily than is currently occurring. 😉

    We need to tweak our systems and structures anyway to better accommodate ourselves in health and well being to allow for us to grow and develop as individuals, as is our design, so we may as well attend to all our other responsibilities and agendas within it as the same time.  🙂

    There has never been a way that has worked yet, so no backward step will suffice.  Communication and better relations with other cultures and other languages is what Britain sorely requires.   English speakers miss out on so much that other languages take for granted, and far too many of them don’t know it.

    But how can they know, what they do not know….if they never allow opportunity for it now?  This has been an unwise decision made,  only because people hadn’t the wisdom given them to make it. Is fear and ignorance good reason, or something requiring explanation and healing?  🙂

    Let’s Enable Our Creativity!

    There is no shame in the fact that we have been living without full knowledge of the human being, living within societies & systems under the authority of our experts, constructed for the human being.

    There has been obvious reason for this as our history has unfolded, and choices were made for survival and protection of what was dear to us at the time.
    As is our nature, and Universal Law, we learn as we go, and as opportunities arises. And as is our nature, and universal Law, we are meant to be creating solutions for everything that is adverse to us. Not restricted by our own past creativity, with inadequate ways to bypass protocols, to truly be in the here and now.

    Our ignorance and our denial of our selves has reached lethal consequences, and it is time that we absorb fully our real needs, wants and abilities. Enough has occurred the world over for us to all be able to reevaluate what is most dear to us.
    There will be no argument throughout all languages and cultures, that life itself, is now the most dear to us.

    To be Human IS to create, lets enable our innate solution-seeking creativity. 🙂

    Any Reason To Celebrate!

    halloween-pumpkin

    Celebration in any language and culture = Vibe-raising goodness!

    “All Hallows’ Evening”, Allhalloween, All Hallows’ Eve, or All Saints’ Eve – and now, modern day Halloween – is seemingly everywhere, even in Hungary!

    Imagine a pagan ritual of old,  other worldly, and other dimensionally, 😉 so much valued by us through the ages, that it has stuck around in a number of disguises.

    pumpkin-halloween-vector-illustration_18-14157

    There is nothing wrong with us celebrating each other’s events, rituals and special days. It is when we devalue them, and inject negativity into each other’s lives that we do harm, and when we place emphasis on their economic meaning rather than on their human life-giving value.

    I want to know all the world’s festivals and celebrations. The more celebrations we have, well…the more the merrier!  Raising our vibration is a Being Human Essential! 😀

    Telling Fibs.

    ‘Fibs’ is another word for telling lies. I can still hear my mother’s voice “Ooer, I wonder if their telling fibs?’ A word given – a renaming – almost an endearing term, certainly one not bothered and definitely in acceptance of them. How ignorant, and lost.

    Truth – or adherence to what is – is a Universe essential. A Universal Absolute. How can any species thrive, if some of the party are not even living in the same reality, and so it is with lies.

    Lies have us in totally inefficient realities, constructs of our own making – or even worse, of another’s making without our knowledge. I was at first most separated from my ‘mother,’ by her incessant lies – and fibs 😉 – and I would not budge to enter a false reality.   It felt wrong to do so.   I was guided by my intuition (unlearned knowledge), and it made much more sense than my poor lost ‘mother’ who was really still remaining a creative-child consciousness.

    We may misunderstand the word ‘truth’ or it may have become de- popularized or even a fearful concept now, with the ‘financially liable’ framework.  Fact is, we require it.  It is simply acceptance of what is before you, in your current time and space. Nonacceptance of this, is a symptom of madness. 🙂

    Our Face.

    Are you just Being your face? Or are you ‘holding’ or ‘making’ a false or contrived face, to look a certain way?

    I was tortured as a child to hold my face in unnatural positions, in the hope I might train myself to look more suitable to my mother’ s eyes.
    With the invention of the mirror and camera, we have become increasingly more focused on how our face looks, rather than on what it shows we are feeling.

    My mother made harsh critical comments about my face countless times a day. “What face are you making, now?” pestering me endlessly. I took to covering my face around her and my brother to give myself some peace, a desperate act and a natural thing that I felt to do as a child to shield myself from them. I later discovered it was the same means Joseph Merrick who had been named ‘elephant man’ had used. I gained strength and found camaraderie in learning of him.

    She seemed more provoked by that thought “What face are you making under that?” then “Take it off, so I can see you face.”  I saw her, you see, and my face showed her that I saw her.   My face showed her that I was so saddened and disappointed in her as my mother, and that I expected no sense or caring from her.  Such that it was.

    I was her mirror, as she really was, not as ‘she would have other’s believe’ as she had learned to do from her own solution-seeking creativity, and she couldn’t stand it.  She had learned nothing of self development or of our natural healing journey, that is our life, and her creativity had taken a dark turn.

    But our face shows to the world what we are feeling – or even thinking – through its incredible array of nerves and muscles so that it can give us expression. And yet again, in this day and age we even paralyze these so that we can control how our face looks. I was sad, so I looked sad, and this ‘just wouldn’t do’. 😉 Being “god ugly” was one thing, but I had to look as though she was the perfect mother, and was even tormented by them for “looking miserable” after they had caused this natural reaction. 😉

    Are you just Being your face? Or are you ‘holding’ or ‘making’ a false or contrived face, to look a certain way? Do you even know how your face might look, really smiling? We exude joy and light through our eyes, more than our mouth. 😉

    My mother made me smile for a camera – the only time I ever smiled – yet it was her ‘approved smile’ for my face, rather than ‘me smiling’. 😉 My mouth had to be a certain size, with eyes that didn’t go “too Chinesey” and I was made to hold them as wide open as I could and not blink. Another torturous time sitting endlessly on a hard wooden chair, while I contorted my face into her mirror. I think she even thought she could change my face, if she had me ‘train it.’

    While it is in our interest to feel we look good – as good as we can be – so we are confident to be us, it is how we are feeling that even here, is really of importance. If we look ‘good’ but feel crappy, we still don’t feel good. 😉
    Our face is to reflect to the outside world what is happening inside.

    I am really tired of respectable or expensive clothes on unhealthy misshapen bodies, and well made up faces on people who cannot smile. I grew up knowing the truth behind such a person, and grow up I did, despite every effort against it.

    I survived my childhood, and just as I would like to play some part in preventing anyone else having to go through the same, I would like to share what it is I know, about the extent denying our true selves can have on our basic species ability to behave in normal circumstances.

    My ‘mother’ – in adverted commas purposely as a mother she was not – was largely a product of her stern ‘Victorian English’ upbringing and had lost all ability to feel, rendering her ‘psychopathic’ , and as my speech therapist said “the mother from hell. ” This could have been prevented.

    We are here on Earth TO FEEL. We can have lovely clothes and makeup, but can we also have functioning human bodies inside them? And no matter how obsessed we may become with our appearance, we must still allow for our full feeling experience. If we do not, there will be dire consequences.on a humanity scale. It is evident already. 🙂

     

    The ‘Art’ of Conversation.

    Have you heard conversation referred to as ‘Art’?  And it is our creativity at its very best.

    To Be human is to create, and our brain is the size it is for our creativity, and particularly our creation of our speech.

    It is a true game of skill to enable another’s creativity for their benefit, while enhancing our own verbal time with another, so that we bring into reality, that which we ourselves wish to create. Hence the term, the ‘Art of Conversation.’ To ‘make’ something come to the mind of another, for their sharing. 🙂

    I use the term ‘verbal table tennis’ for that all too common question and answer habit, stemming from ignorance, that disables our own creative ability with our words, and distracts us from the very point of speech. But this isn’t conversation…

    And Present moment sharing, is putting a voice to what comes to mind ‘to share’.  This can come from a zen state, a thoughtless space, a mindless space, and is not the space we need to enter into to retrieve something from our ‘data files’, via the mind, as when to answer a question.  This isn’t conversation either…

    ‘Conversation’ on the other hand IS a creation. Removing us from just the Present moment, yes, as need be, for examples and explanation, or as our creativity requires of it, but it is our own creation all the same.

    Direct questioning, or direct answering of one another, is not, and is where we are giving our focus, intent and creativity completely away.  In ‘conversation’ – an invention of ours – we are still not designed to be asking questions of one another, unless invited to do so on a topic.

    The true art of conversation involves the skill of bringing to the mind of your listener, for their sharing, what it is you wish to hear or learn of, or have them share with you, for their pleasure.  This is a skill.  Or maybe you only wish to keep them near you, for their vibe or pleasure you get from looking at them, but want them to enjoy time spent with you.

    Questioning one another directly as though we are encyclopedias, is ‘lost’ behavior, 😉 symptomatic of our creativity gone wrong, from where we enabled those with authority greater power of questioning, so it began to be something desired, to seem to hold a greater respect, or higher position in society.

    We are vast and we are magnificent, and we are designed to be completely in the driver seat of where our consciousness is directed, as we direct it.

    What we think of or focus on, is where our creative power goes for that moment. To be able to control the attention of another, their consciousness, their entire creative ability, is an honor and privilege.

    It is a true game of skill to enable another’s creativity for their benefit, while enhancing our own verbal time with another, so that we bring into reality, that which we ourselves wish to create.
    Hence the term, the ‘Art of Conversation.’ 🙂

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